30 July 2017

What the Bible says about Masturbation

As you may have noticed, the SAB website has been having troubles lately. There were some links in the old html code (I created it back in 1999) that were causing the site to load slowly, and sometimes not load at all. So I spent the last couple weeks removing offending links and cleaning up the pages a bit. I think I've got most of it working okay now, except for some of the "What the Bible says About" pages - which I'm fixing and revising now.

Here's one that I just revised.


What the Bible says about Masturbation

Every sperm is sacred, so don't spill any on the ground. (Or God will kill you.)
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also. Genesis 38:9-10
If God doesn't kill you, then be sure to wash up thoroughly afterwards.
And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even. And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even. Leviticus 15:16
After washing up, pluck out an eye and cut off a hand. (It's better to lose an eye and hand than to have your whole body cast into hell.)
Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. Matthew 5:28-30

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice post
xyore

Unknown said...

When the holy spirit is watching it makes you an unwilling gay exhibitionist. God set up these rules as well. Maybe we have figured out the main reason God created us, so he could watch us do this.

Unknown said...

The trick is not allowing your right eye to offend you.